Flat Tummy Tea Review

Flat Tummy Tea Review

Flat Tummy Tea is one of the many herbal “teatoxes” on the market that claim to “detox” you and “reduce the bloat” (marketing speak for “lose weight”).

There are scores of social media “influencers” and celebrities promoting it, but don’t let that make you loosen your grip on your wallet just yet. Last I checked, most “influencers” and celebrities are not research scientists with an understanding of biochemistry and physiology.

In fact, many “detox” teas, including Flat Tummy Tea, are loaded with laxatives and diuretics which, up front will cause “weight loss” on the scale, but this should not be confused for fat loss (which requires that pesky healthy eating and exercise).

So what’s the deal? Does Flat Tummy Tea work? Well, it all depends on your own subjective interpretation of “work.”

In this review, I put the product claims on the hot seat and review them through the lens of science so you can decide for yourself if this is something worth forking out your cash.

Flat Tummy Tea products

Flat Tummy Tea is an herbal tea that comes in a two-week or four-week program which includes their Activate and Cleanse Tea.

For their subscription program, you get the Activate and Maintain Teas.

Activate Tea

According to Flat Tummy Tea’s website, Activate Tea’s ingredients supposedly “support your metabolism, give you an antioxidant energy kick, and get your digestion ready to start the day on an all natural high.”

The Activate Tea ingredients include:

  • Peppermint leaf
  • Lemon Balm leaf
  • Liquorice root
  • Dandelion Root
  • Cleavers (leaf)
  • Fennel Seed
  • Green Tea Leaf
  • Caraway
  • Cardamom pods

Cleanse Tea

Cleanse Tea supposedly “works to help detoxify your intestinal tract free of built up toxins” and, according to Flat Tummy Co’s website, its ingredients “work together to help get (and keep) that tummy flat.”

Cleanse Tea ingredients include:

  • Senna (leaf)
  • Peppermint (leaf)
  • Cassia Chamaecrista (pods)
  • Liquorice (root)
  • Caraway (seed)
  • Dandelion (root)
  • Rhubarb (root)

Activate and Cleanse Tea Ingredients

Maintain Tea

Maintain Tea supposedly helps “detoxify your intestinal tract free of built up toxins, and is designed to be used once a week.”

Maintain Tea ingredients include:

  • Senna (leaf)
  • Peppermint (leaf)
  • Cassia Chamaecrista (pods)
  • Liquorice (root)
  • Caraway (seed)
  • Dandelion (root)
  • Rhubarb (root)

Before we dissect these marketing claims, it’s important to understand what the ingredients are and the effect they have in the body.

Flat Tummy Tea ingredients list

For simplicity purposes, I have combined all the ingredients into one list and provide a brief breakdown for each one:

Peppermint leaf

Peppermint leaves may be helpful for digestive problems such as heartburn, nausea, and irritable bowel syndrome. Depending on the dose, it could have a laxative effect on the body.

Lemon Balm leaf

Lemon balm is an herb from the mint family and has been used for digestive problems, including upset stomach, bloating, intestinal gas (flatulence), vomiting, and colic; for pain, including menstrual cramps, headache and toothache, and for some mental disorders.

Dandelion Root

Dandelion leaves may exert a diuretic (makes you pee) and laxative effect to increase bowel movements. It may also increase appetite.

Cleavers (leaf)

Cleavers, also spelled clivers, is used to increase urine flow to relieve fluid retention.

Fennel Seed

Fennel is used by mouth for various digestive problems including heartburn, intestinal gas, bloating, loss of appetite, and colic in infants among othes.

Green Tea Leaf

Green tea contains a small amount of caffeine which might give you a feeling of pep in your step and help suppress appetite.


Caraway is used for digestive problems including heartburn, bloating, gas, loss of appetite, and mild spasms of the stomach and intestines. Caraway may exert a laxative effect to relieve constipation.

Cardamom pods

Cardamom exerts a laxative effect on the body and has been used for digestion problems including heartburn, intestinal spasms, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), diarrhea, constipation, liver and gallbladder complaints, and loss of appetite.

Senna (leaf)

Senna‘s active constituents are called sennosides which stimulate the bowel and causes a laxative effect.

Cassia Chamaecrista

Cassia Chamaecrista has a laxative effect on the body

Liquorice (root)

Licorice may help people with irritable bowel syndrome by soothing inflamed tissue, helping to relax muscles, and exerting a mild laxative effect on the bowels.

Rhubarb (root)

Rhubarb exerts a laxative effect for the relief of constipation but care must be taken, as a high enough dose can induce diarrhoea as a side effect. Rhubarb may also be helpful for a number of other gastrointestinal disturbances like heart burn and stomach discomfort.

Categorical review of Flat Tummy Tea marketing claims

Now it’s time to review the product marketing claims through the lens of science. Each claim has been taken from the official Flat Tummy Tea website.

1. “Cleanse”

Flat Tummy Co claims the products will “cleanse your digestive system” and that it “shouldn’t have you running to the bathroom.”  

Translation: don’t stray too far from a toilet. The product is loaded with laxatives and diuretics which are actually MEANT to make you use the bathroom more frequently.

The truth is, you’re not actually “cleansing” your body above and beyond its normal abilities by using a so-called “cleansing” tea.  Urination and defecation are normal bodily processes and diuretics and laxatives merely hasten this process. You might see a reduction in scale weight but this just fecal and water weight loss, as opposed to fat loss (in case you confuse the two), and the weight will return once you stop taking the tea.

2. “Detoxify”

Flat Tummy Tea claims its Cleanse Tea helps “detoxify your intestinal tract free of built up toxins” and that it has a “gentle cleansing effect which is an essential part of the detoxification process.”

These claims are false. As mentioned above, the tea is loaded with diuretics and laxatives and will simply make you use the toilet more frequently. But to be clear, it is not “detoxifying” your body.  

The word “detox” in this context is essentially meaningless bullish*t. Check out this article on Science Based Medicine for a fascinating read.

My question to Flat Tummy Co is, specifically WHICH TOXINS is the tea supposedly removing? Are we talking about hexavalent chromium? Lead? Mercury? I did not find anywhere on the website the specifically lists out which toxins are supposedly accumulated in the body and are removed by this product.

In short, don’t be a sucker. “Detox” is a medical term that has been hijacked by marketers to either scare or bullsh*t people into buying products.

3. “Reduce bloating”

Flat Tummy Tea claims that their teas will “reduce your bloating” and help you “kick that bloated, sluggish and blaaaah feeling.

This is more meaningless marketing sleight of hand because the word “bloating” is subjectively defined and means different things to different people.

Does bloating mean you are carrying too much fat? Are you retaining too much water? Nowhere on the website do they explicitly define what “bloating” means for purposes of their marketing claims (same as with “detox“).

Let’s clarify something here. If you’re taking this tea thinking it’s a magic pill for fat loss, then you’re going to be disappointed. You still need to put down the burgers and chips, start eating more fruits and veggies, and be more active if that’s your goal.

If you’re expecting to reduce water weight, the product will probably do that since it’s a diuretic/laxative tea.

4. “Decrease your water retention”

Sure, any diuretic and laxative will help you reduce water retention. But instead of a diuretic/laxative tea, you can just go down to your local pharmacy and find something over-the-counter for a fraction of the price. 

5. “Support your metabolism”

This is more ambiguous marketing gobbledygook that really doesn’t mean anything. What specifically does Flat Tummy Co mean by “support your metabolism?” Nowhere on the website do they define what this actually means.

This is similar to the nebulous “reduce bloating” claim where it can mean different things to different people. 

6. “Help maintain a healthy immune system”

This is a claim that begets more questions. How exactly does the product “help maintain a healthy immune system?” Which ingredients are we talking about here? And specifically how does it interact with the immune system? What evidence supports this? 

The onus is on Flat Tummy Co to provide evidence that their tea does what it says on the label. If such evidence exists, I’d be happy to review it.

7. “Boost your energy”

To be clear, Flat Tummy Tea contains no calories and therefore does not provide any energy. Green tea contains a little bit of caffeine which may make you feel more alert, but this should not be confused with energy provided by food.

8. “Give you an antioxidant energy kick”

This is more ambiguous marketing bluster. What does “gives you an antioxidant energy kick” actually mean anyway? Antioxidants are often plant compounds, vitamin, or mineral complexes which do not have any caloric value and thus provide no energy. 

9. “Maintain Tea ingredients work together to help get (and keep) that tummy flat”

As stated above, the teas are loaded with laxatives and diuretics which will make you use the toilet more frequently. This may help you reduce water weight, but this should not be confused with fat loss (which takes some serious effort).

Is Flat Tummy Tea safe? 

For the most part, Flat Tummy Tea and other similar products on the market probably won’t harm you if you use them as directed and for the short-term. It’s important to remember that nothing is risk-free and there is always potential for side effects in some people. 

What are some potential side effects?

If you insist on trying a detox tea, then you need to inform yourself of the potential for side effects. The following list is not necessarily what will happen to you, but is provided as a caution so that you know what to look for while you’re taking it.


The Cleanse Tea, in particular, has a lot of diuretics and laxatives in it (senna leaves and a number of other laxative ingredients) which could lead to diarrhea and possibly dehydration, particularly if you are consuming a lot of the tea and leaving the bag in the water for longer than recommended.

Be sure to monitor how often you run to the toilet while using the product and discontinue use if you experience diarrhea.

Electrolyte imbalances and nutrient deficiencies

Following on from above, if you are experiencing diarrhea, this could lead to dehydration and contribute to a potentially dangerous electrolyte imbalance and nutrient deficiencies. If you have any concerns, stop using the product and go see your doctor.

Low blood pressure

Because the product is loaded with laxatives and diuretics that promote fecal and fluid loss, this may lead to a reduction in blood pressure.  If you have cardiovascular disease and are taking medications which lower your blood pressure, be aware that the tea could have a compounding effect which might further lower your blood pressure and make you susceptible to dizziness and fainting.

Reduction in birth control effectiveness

Planning on getting pregnant any time soon? If not, then you need to be careful, as detox teas have come under scrutiny for reducing the effectiveness of birth control due to their laxative effect.

Reduction in bowel movements

Detox teas should only be used short term. Long-term use could result in your body habituating to the laxative which may lead to a reduction in bowel motility (leading to intestinal paralysis, lazy gut, and IBS) and make you dependent on the tea for normal bowel movements.

If you’re having problems with your bowel movements after using the tea, you should consult your doctor for further evaluation.

Weight loss abuse

Detox teas promote “weight loss” through increased urine and feces excretion. Some consumers obsessed with quick-fix weight loss products may be at higher risk for abuse. If you’re the parent of a teen with body image issues, you should pay particular attention to their use of such products.

Product Warnings 

The manufacturers provide the bog standard warnings for consumers such as not using the products if you are pregnant or breast feeding.

They also suggest you consult your doctor before using the products which, in reality, we know most people don’t do. If you have any pre-existing medical conditions and are taking medications, then there is always the possibility of an interaction between the meds and the tea. Don’t risk it. Go to your doc for a proper consultation.

Despite all the grandiose marketing claims on their website, they include the disclaimer required by law that “products offered on the Site are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.”

This stems from the 1994 Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act which is actually a supplement-industry sponsored law which basically allows you to be used as a human guinea pig. Supplements are not regulated and can be legally sold to the public without having to prove the product is safe, effective, pure, or that what’s on the label is what’s in the product. If you want the straight line on this law, check out this article.

Who makes Flat Tummy Tea?

Despite its cutesy name, Flat Tummy Co is owned by corporate conglomerate Synergy CHC (Consumer Healthcare Company) which, according to their website, has a number of nutraceutical, cosmeceutical, and beauty brands in their portfolio.

Where is Flat Tummy Co located?

When I went to the website contact page and the terms and conditions page, I found that they do not have an actual address to or phone number to reach them. But that’s not really fair if you want to speak to a live human being. They force you to send an email to [email protected]  or fill in their contact form.

If you need to reach a live human being, then you might try the following information:

Synergy CHC Corp
865 Spring Street
Westbrook, ME 04092
Email: [email protected]
Phone: (615) 939-9004

You can learn a bit more about Flat Tummy Co on their Bloomberg listing as well.

Where is Flat Tummy Tea sold? 

An internet search shows the product is mainly sold on their website, Amazon, and the Vitamin Shoppe. 

Be sure to check out the refund section further down in this review because if you buy it outside of their website, you don’t have the same rights.

How much does Flat Tummy Tea cost?

If you’re looking to buy Flat Tummy Tea, it’ll set you back around $49 USD for their 4 Week Program and $36 USD for the 2 Week Program. You might be able to find cheaper prices elsewhere, but if you do, it will affect your right to a refund (see below).

Shipping costs

Shipping is generally free from within the United States, but if you’re in a hurry, then you’re looking at an extra $10 USD for priority service. If you’re overseas, then it’s  about $15 USD for the rest of the world.

Refunds and Returns: Is there a money-back guarantee?

Here is the abbreviated version of Flat Tummy Co’s refund policy: if you buy it, you’re stuck with it.

You can only return it under very specific circumstances, but not for typical reasons you might want your money back (i.e., dissatisfied). If you buy the product from a third-party retailer, then you pretty much have no rights.

No refunds are given unless the product is “faulty” and then you have a seven day window to email them. It also appears that any costs to return the product are your responsibility.

Flat Tummy Co Refund Policy

If you try the product and don’t like it, too bad. No cash back for you (unless you complain in a public forum).

If you receive an expired product, tough luck. That apparently doesn’t constitute a “faulty” product either.

If you never receive the product, sorry Charlie. Once it leaves their warehouse, then it’s no longer their concern.


A number of complaints were registered against Flat Tummy Tea through the Better Business Bureau website, most of which dealt with lost orders. 

While Flat Tummy Co claims to accept no responsibility for the product once it leaves their hands, some customers complained loudly enough to get their money back “on this occasion.” In other words, the official policy is no refunds, but if you give them a bad write-up online, then they’ll bend the rules for you).

Other complaints included receiving expired products and, even after complaining, Flat Tummy Co still encouraged them use the expired products.

Flat Tummy Tea Complaints

Fun legal stuff

I know you’re probably in a hurry to “lose weight” and are unlikely to read the terms of service. But that’s ok. I had the time and I actually DID read the terms of service for you, highlighting the important bits.

Most notably, you waive your right to a class action suit in case anything happens to you… and a few thousand other people. Here’s a screenshot from the website.

waiver of class action rights

I’ll admit, this passage sort of surprised me. Even though it’s unlikely anything will happen to you unless you abuse the product, what if something happened where  the product was adulterated and a lot of people ended up sick? If you’re just barely paying the bills every month, then it’s unlikely you’d be able to afford to pay for a lawyer. Usually a class action suit is the way forward if a lot of people were affected, but assuming their terms of service are legally binding (even though you didn’t ready them anyway), then you’re just gonna have to foot all those medical bills by yourself.

Take home message

Whether or not Flat Tummy Tea actually “works” really depends on your individual interpretation of the words “detox,” “cleanse,” and “reduces bloating.” 

A product full of laxatives and diuretics will definitely make you “lose weight” on the scale, but this is not fat loss. Losing a bit of body fluid may temporarily “reduce bloating” but this will return once you stop using the product.

Nor will the product actually “detox” you. To be clear, it’s only hastening your normal bodily processes and making you use the toilet more frequently.

The bottom line, brutally honest truth: if you eat pizza and sit on the couch all day, Flat Tummy Tea probably won’t save you. But if you cut out the burgers, chips, and fizzy drinks and become more physically active, then you’ll probably look and feel a lot better, with or without any detox tea.

Fit Tea Review: Will It Cause Weight Loss & Boost Metabolism?

Fit Tea Review: Will It Cause Weight Loss & Boost Metabolism?

Fit Tea is another so-called detox tea in a long line of “teatoxes” on the market (see my other reviews on Skinny Teatox, Flat Tummy Tea, and SkinnyMint Teatox).

But what exactly is Fit Tea? What are the marketing claims relative to what you can reasonably expect? Will it slim you down? Will it really “detoxify” you?

In this review, I will answer all these questions, in addition to the potential risks and side effects. If you insist on using a detox tea, then it’s always best to be a wise consumer and arm yourself with the facts.

What is Fit Tea?

According to the company’s website, Fit Tea claims to be a “detoxifying tea blend of certified organic herbs which are formulated to enhance your weight management program as part of a healthy diet and exercise regimen.”

A number of products on the website tend to give the impression they will “detox” and help you burn fat. The tea contains a combination of caffeinated ingredients, diuretics, and other herbs with a variety of effects.

Fit Tea ingredients list

There are 13 ingredients in Fit Tea products combined into 5g tea bags.

fit tea ingredients list

Fit Tea Ingredients List

The exact quantities of each ingredient are not stated on the label, so we are not able to compare each of them to other published studies.

Organic green tea

Green tea contains a small amount of caffeine which might give you a feeling of pep in your step and help suppress appetite.

Oolong Wu Yi

Oolong tea contains caffeine which will give you a feeling of alertness. It may also exert a diuretic effect on your body which will make you pee more.

Garcinia Cambogia Extract

Garcinia Cambogia, also known as the Malabar tamarind, contains hydroxycitric acid, or HCA. It has been touted as a “fat-burner” supplement but no significant body of evidence conclusively supports this effect.


Pomegranate contains chemicals which may exert an antioxidant effect in the body and help combat atherosclerosis and cancer, but it’s not known if these effects are conferred when consumed in liquid form.

Organic Rooibos

Rooibos is an African tea that is red in colour. Pronounced “roy-boss” and means “red bush” in the Afrikaans language. It is caffeine free, contains valuable antioxidants, and may protect you against heart disease, cancer, and diabetes.


Ginger can have a laxative effect on the body by stimulating the bowels and may be useful for upset stomach, gas, and diarrhoea. It may also promote fluid loss as a diuretic. Ginger might also stimulate appetite which may counter other ingredients in the teas that decrease appetite.


Stevia is a sugar substitute extracted from the plant species Stevia rebaudiana. Steviol glycosides are the active compounds and have 30 to 150 times the sweetness of regular sugar.


Honey is used as a sweetener in many products. There are varying degrees of honey quality but it’s not known exactly what type of honey is used in Fit Tea and what its specific nutrient profile is.


Guarana contains the central nervous system stimulants caffeine, theophylline, and theobromine. Similar to yerba mate, guarana can increase your heart rate and blood pressure.

Citric Acid

Despite its chemical-sounding name (oh nooo chemicals!), citric acid is just a light acid commonly found in citrus fruits like lemons and oranges. Citric acid is commonly used as a preservative in food products.

Sea Salt

Sea salt is a fancy name for salt or sodium chloride (NaCl). Salt has been used since ancient times as a food preservative due to its ability to absorb water and repel bacteria.

Lemon Juice

Lemon juice as a food additive offers a tangy flavour to food products and, by virtue of its citric acid content, may also serve as a preservative against spoilage.

Matcha Green Tea

Matcha green tea contains caffeine but boasts a more level, even-keel sort of high compared to standard coffee’s jolt. Like other classes of green tea, it also contains the antioxidant epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG) which may have protective effects against cancer.

More ingredient information

Also be sure to check out Joe Cannnon’s comprehensive Fit Tea review (here) which discusses the ingredients in greater detail.

Fit Tea Clinical Studies

To my knowledge, there are no independent published scientific studies on the Fit Tea product.

On the company website, they provide a small write-up of a single Fit Tea-sponsored study, but there is no mention as to if/where this study was published (if at all).

Publication in a reputable scientific journal is important because it means the study has been reviewed by independent experts to make sure it isn’t junk science.

I break down this “study” below in detail and provide a critical interpretation of the results.

Study design and methods

Fifty participants (41 women and 9 men) between the ages of 18 and 60 years were recruited for the study.

It was a non-experimental study design looking at the effects of FitTea 28 Day Detox tea to:

  1. Aid in weight loss (primary outcome measure); and
  2. Increase energy levels, concentration levels, and decreasing appetite (secondary outcome measures)

A physical exam was conducted on study participants which included:

  • Height
  • Weight
  • Blood thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH) levels
  • Complete blood count
  • Metabolic and lipid levels
  • DEXA scan for body composition
  • 1-10 Likert scale questionnaire to assess appetite, energy, concentration, and adverse events

Study results

Body weight

According to the website, of the 50 individuals, 25 or 50% had lost weight (-0.5 lbs [or 0.23 kg]) within the first 14 days, and 33 or 66% had lost weight (-2 lbs [or 0.91 kg]) within the 28-day period.

Of the 33 participants who lost weight, 24 participants or 72.7% lost 3 or more pounds (1.36 kg), and 14 or 42.4% of those lost 5 or more pounds (2.26 kg) by the end of the study.

Energy, concentration and appetite

For the secondary outcome measures, 43/50 participants stated they had increased energy levels, 42/50 stated they had increased concentration levels, and 47/50 experienced a decrease in appetite.

Side effects

12 participants experienced self-resolving side effects which included:

  • Bloating
  • Irritability
  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhea
  • Headache
  • Other (not defined)

Study limitations

If you’re a layperson reading these results, you might think, “Great, people lost weight. Good enough for me,” but not so quick. You have to look at these results carefully and consider the following limitations:

1) No control group

The study had no control group to compare results. While the authors reported that people “lost weight,” we have no idea how these results would have compared to an age- and gender-matched control group. In many studies, reductions in body weight can occur in both the experimental and control groups due to things like inadvertently or purposely eating less or doing more exercise.

2) No accounting for exercise/activity levels

There was no mention if the research team controlled for activity levels. We know that when people participate in weight loss studies, there can be either an inadvertent or deliberate attempt to enhance weight loss by adding in more exercise and/or incidental movement (i.e., walking or standing more).

3) No accounting for diet

There was no mention if the research team controlled for dietary variations. As with physical activity, when people know they’re under the microscope, they can sometimes moderate their food intake which will result in enhanced weight loss (these “results” can then be erroneously attributed to the intervention).

4) Predominantly female participants

41 out of 50 participants (82%) were female. Because there can be hormonal differences between the genders which impact weight gain or loss, it would have been more prudent to focus only on female or male participants, or at least have the results stratified by gender rather than lumping them altogether.

5) A wide age range

Participants ranged from age 18 to 60 years. This is a reasonably large age range and, given that there are age-related hormonal changes and differences in lean mass (i.e., muscle). Having them all lumped together may provide a skewed picture of the results. We don’t know who the responders were (i.e., younger versus older participants, which genders, etc).

6) No explanation for changes in body weight

The authors reported a range of “weight loss” but did not provide any DEXA body composition results to explain the said weight loss. Given that the product contains mild laxative and diuretic ingredients, it is plausible that the said weight loss might have been, in part, fecal and fluid waste. If participants were cutting food intake or increasing their activity levels, this would also have enhanced the weight loss effect. In the absence of any concrete body composition data, a simple before and after scale weight is not very informative.

7) No mention of blood biomarker results

The study authors mentioned that bloods were drawn, but these were completely omitted from the write-up. It would be helpful to see the participants’ pre and post-study blood biomarker values to determine how this product affected blood sugars, lipids, etc. When it comes to research, authors should disclose all results, including the good, bad, and ugly (i.e., results which don’t “look good” shouldn’t be omitted as inconvenient truths). It would be helpful to know why Fit Tea has not disclosed the entire results of their study.

8) Broken images in the result section

On the results page, there are a number of broken images (i.e., graphs, tables) which presumably offer more information on the study results. It would be helpful for the company to fix these errors and provide full disclosure of ALL the results.

Fit Tea review of marketing claims

Fit Tea makes a number of marketing claims but is there any evidence to support them?


Fit Tea Health Claims

Image: Fit Tea Health Claims. Credit: Fit Tea website


Claim 1: “Reduce your bloating”

Before we discuss this claim, it’s important to provide some operational definitions for the word bloating.

Actual bloating, as in fluid retention, is a real and biologically normal thing, but tends to be transient and self-resolving.

“Bloating,” on the other hand, is also a cutesy and ambiguous marketing euphemism for having some extra body fat in those undesirable trouble spots.

Whatever your definition of “bloating,” it is important that you compare your expectations on what the product can deliver against the product claims.

Any product which contains diuretics and laxatives will make you urinate and defecate more frequently. You will “lose weight” on the scale, but it’s important not to confuse this with fat loss. You will replace the lost fluid and fecal waste with your next meal (remember, your body weight fluctuates every day with meals, drinks, and your normal bladder and bowel movements).

Claim 2: “Support your metabolism”

The phrase “support your metabolism” is an ambiguous and misleading marketing phrase that can mean different things to different people.

Do they mean “increases your metabolism?” “Makes you burn more fat?” Fit Tea should be specific with this claim and explain to consumers exactly what they can expect.

The “research” study on their website did not include any outcome measures or results related to metabolism so, to the best of my knowledge, there is no scientific evidence to support this claim.

The product does contain caffeine which could theoretically provide an increase in calorie burn – but not so fast. An article published in the Annals of Nutrition and Metabolism found that 12 healthy young male volunteers who consumed 200 mg of caffeine increased their metabolism by a negligible 13 calories – in other words, pretty much nothing.

Moreover, because we don’t know the EXACT AMOUNT of caffeine contained in the product, we cannot conclusively state what effect the product would have on metabolism.

Claim 3: “Detoxify your system”

I’ll be blunt: this is a false claim.

Like with “bloating” and “support your metabolism,” “detox” is a popular and ill-defined marketing term used on a number of “teatox” products, including Fit Tea.

“Detoxify your system” of what exactly? Fit Tea, please tell us the names of these toxins? Are we talking hexavalent chromium? Lead? Mercury? What’s the story?

If you don’t specifically know which toxins or how many/how much are in your body before you start drinking the tea, and you don’t have a measure of toxins after you’ve drunk the tea, then how do you KNOW it’s “detoxifying” you?

The truth? Spoiler alert: “detox” teas don’t detox you. Period.

If you have a working liver and two normally functioning kidneys, then your body can “detox” itself. Defecation and urination are normal bodily functions, not “detoxification.”

Claim 4: “Decrease your water retention”

As with the bloating claim, the diuretics will make you pee a bit more and may result in less water retention… temporarily. This is only a cosmetic effect that will disappear once you stop taking the tea and drink water (or other fluids) again.

Claim 5: “Cleanse your digestive system”

The laxative effect of some ingredients will make you defecate more frequently but, to be clear, this should not be confused with “cleaning your digestive system.” It’s just a normal bodily function.

By this logic, eating a big T-bone steak will eventually need to come out the other end too. Does this mean that a T-bone steak is “cleansing your digestive system.”

Bottom line: your digestive system is already a self-cleaning model that really doesn’t need any help under normal circumstances.

Claim 6: “Clinical studied” [sic]

The company claims that Fit Tea “contains ingredients that are ‘clinically researched’ to help burn calories.” They then provide a list of links to a number of legitimate research articles on the effects of green tea and green tea extract on different health biomarkers.

Piggybacking these studies is misleading because the published research used specific quantities of green tea or green tea extract whereas Fit Tea has an unknown amount of green tea mixed with 12 other ingredients. In other words, there is no way to know what effects, if any, are attributable to green tea versus other ingredients.

Also remember that the terms “clinically proven” really don’t mean much in a marketing sense. This phrase can mean different things to different people and there is no standardised definition or regulation of its use. See my article here on what “clinically proven” really means.

Fit Tea side effects

Fit Tea is essentially a combination of laxatives, diuretics, and mild stimulants. For the most part, it probably won’t do you any harm unless you abuse it in large doses (please don’t do this).

In the company-sponsored “research” study published on the Fit Tea website, of the 50 participants, 12 complained of a number of self-resolving side effects including:  bloating, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, and “other” undefined side effects.

In other words, about 1 in 4 users may experience side effects from Fit Tea.

Potential risks and warnings

It is important to remember that when it comes to herbal products, the risk may be low but is never zero. If you have medical issues or are taking medications, you should consult your doctor to ensure herbal products are safe and there are no herb-medicine interactions.


Garcinia cambogia

Fit Tea contains garcinia cambogia which may have possible interactions with:

  • Asthma and allergy medicines such as Accolate and Singulair
  • Diabetes medicines, including pills and insulin
  • Iron, for anemia
  • Pain medicines
  • Prescriptions for psychiatric conditions
  • Statins, drugs that lower cholesterol
  • Warfarin, a blood thinner


Guarana contains the central nervous system stimulants caffeine, theophylline, and theobromine. Similar to yerba mate, guarana can jack up your heart rate and blood pressure. If you have a heart condition (or are at risk of heart problems or stroke), you should discuss the tea ingredients with your doctor to ensure it is safe for you.


Pomegranate may decrease blood pressure so if you are already taking blood pressure-lowering medications, this could potentially cause your blood pressure to bottom out (i.e., go too low and make you feel dizzy or pass out).

Pomegranate may decrease the speed at which the liver metabolises rosuvastatin (Crestor), thus increasing the effects and side effects of the medication.

Pomegranate might decrease how quickly your liver breaks down some medications, which can increase some effects and side effects.

Bottom line: speak with your health care professional about use of detox teas and their potential effects on your medications.

Other considerations


Fit Tea contains mild diuretics and laxative ingredients. If used as indicated, you are not likely to experience dehydration. However, if for whatever reason you experience diarrhea or vomiting, discontinue the product and seek medical help if it does not resolve on its own.

Electrolyte imbalances and nutrient deficiencies

The diuretic effect of the tea could contribute to dehydration if you abuse the product. If you have diarrhoea, then it could further hasten dehydration and contribute to an electrolyte imbalance and nutrient deficiencies.

Reduction in bowel movements

Detox teas should only be used for the short term and as indicated. Long term use could result in your body habituating to the laxative effect which may lead to a reduction in bowel motility (leading to intestinal paralysis, lazy gut, and IBS) and make you dependent on the tea for normal bowel movements. If you’re having problems with your bowel movements after using the tea, you should consult your doctor for further evaluation.

Weight loss abuse

Because “detox teas” promote “weight loss” through increased urine and fecal loss, consumers obsessed with quick-fix weight loss products may be at higher risk for abuse. If you’re the parent of a teen with body image issues, you should pay particular attention to their use of the products.


How much does Fit Tea cost? According to the company website, the tea will set you back anywhere from $25 to $45 USD.

  • 14 Day Detox – 24.99 USD
  • 28 Day Detox – 44.99 USD
  • Fit Tea Sticks – 24.99 USD

If you’re buying it within the United States, then shipping is free, but will cost you $10 USD for international shipping to overseas locations.

Refund policy

Fit Tea will only cancel your order before processing and will refund your payment.

Satisfaction guarantee

I did not find any information regarding a satisfaction guarantee or product returns if you tried the product and are unhappy with it.

Does Fit Tea work? The verdict

Whether or not Fit Tea actually “works” depends on your own personal definition of the words “detox” and “cleanse.” If you consider urine and feces to be “toxins” then, sure, diuretics and laxatives will do the trick. But it’s unlikely to fix that KGB polonium poisoning thing you’ve been dealing with.

Will you “lose weight?” Sure. The more time you spend on the toilet, the more “weight” you will lose. But if you have an expectation of losing stored body fat, well, that’s going to take a bit of commitment to changing your diet and physical activity habits.

Will it jack up your metabolism into a raging inferno? Unless it’s packed with 1000 mg or more of caffeine, probably not. And even if it bumps up your body temperature a notch, it’s unlikely to result in any appreciable fat loss.

Bottom line: spend your money on whatever the heck your want, but make sure you are making an educated buying decision and putting your safety above all else.

Remember there are no “teatoxes” on the market that actually “detox” you (for real). If you’re looking to lose stored body fat and get healthier, then the scientifically-proven healthy lifestyle foundations still hold true: eat a nutrient-rich diet that contains lots of fruits and veggies, limit alcohol intake, do regular physical activity, get adequate sleep, and reduce stress.

Sometimes the basics are all you really need…and they’re a lot cheaper!

SkinnyMint Teatox Review | A Detox from Toxic Marketing

SkinnyMint Teatox Review | A Detox from Toxic Marketing

If you’re a woman between 18 and 44 years of age, then you’ve no doubt seen SkinnyMint Teatox ads in your social feeds – over and over and over again.

Chances are, you’re being regularly micro-targeted until maybe, just maybe, you start to believe that “detox” comes in a tea.

If so, then you really need to read this article.

There are lots of grandiose marketing claims floating around cyberspace, much of it downright confusing, and some of it simply deceptive.

Therefore, the purpose of this article is to:

  • Explain what SkinnyMint Teatox is;
  • Break down the ingredients and their effects on your body;
  • Evaluate and discuss the veracity of the marketing claims;
  • Discuss side effects and safety concerns; and
  • Provide a closing summary of the facts

Also check out my Skinny Teatox review, Flat Tummy Tea, and Fit Tea review.

What is SkinnyMint Teatox?

According to the company website, the 28 Day Ultimate Teatox is a two-step morning and night tea detox program:

The Morning Boost is designed to give you a boost throughout the day and start the morning right. It contains Green Tea, Yerba Mate and Guarana with a naturally sweet fruity taste. It can replace your daily morning coffee/black tea.

The Night Cleanse is designed to naturally purify the body which could lead to reduced bloating. It contains all natural ingredients to promote the restoration process. It is the perfect bedtime ritual, take one every alternate night.”

Right, so what the heck is in it anyway?

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SkinnyMint ingredients list 

There are a lot of “teatoxes” out on the market these days and it’s important to think safety first and spend the time investigating a product’s ingredients before putting it in your body.

I’ve done most of the legwork for you below and have included links to more detailed information.

Morning boost ingredients

SkinnyMint Teatox Review

Credit: SkinnyMint website

Green tea leaf

Green tea contains a small amount of caffeine which might give you a feeling of pep in your step and help suppress appetite.

Yerba mate leaf

Yerba mate leaf is a caffeine-containing central nervous system stimulant. It might make you feel more mentally alert and can bump up your heart rate and blood pressure. Note: if you have any underlying heart problems, talk to your doctor before taking this product.

Nettle leaf

Nettle leaf, also known as stinging nettle, has a diuretic and laxative effect in the body.

Dandelion leaf

Dandelion leaf may exert a diuretic (makes you pee) and laxative effect to increase bowel movements. It may also increase appetite.

Guarana seed

Guarana contains the central nervous system stimulants caffeine, theophylline, and theobromine. Similar to yerba mate, guarana can jack up your heart rate and blood pressure.

Night cleanse ingredients

SkinnyMint Teatox Review

Credit: SkinnyMint website

Senna leaf 

Senna‘s active constituents are called sennosides which stimulate the bowel and causes a laxative effect.

Ginger root

Ginger may exert a laxative effect on the body by stimulating the bowels and may be useful for upset stomach, gas, and diarrhoea. It may also promote fluid loss as a diuretic. Ginger might also stimulate appetite which may counter other ingredients in the teas that decrease appetite.

Orange leaf 

Orange leaves may exert a mild laxative effect on the body.

Lemongrass leaf

Lemongrass leaf may help improve digestive tract spasms and relieve stomach aches.

Peppermint leaf

Peppermint leaf may be helpful for digestive problems such as heartburn, nausea, and irritable bowel syndrome. Depending on the dose, it could have a laxative effect on the body.

Licorice root

Licorice root may help people with irritable bowel syndrome by soothing inflamed tissue, helping to relax muscles, and exerting a mild laxative effect on the bowels.

Hawthorn berry

Hawthorn berry is known to be a potent diuretic (which makes you pee) and may have value in patients with congestive heart failure by reducing water retention.

Psyllium seed

Psyllium seed is a bulk-forming laxative which soaks up water in your large intestines to make bowel movements easier.

Categorical review of SkinnyMint marketing claims

SkinnyMint claims that its teatox “reduces bloat and boosts energy,” is “designed for real results in 28 days,” and is an “all natural cleansing formula.”

If you’re trying to “lose weight” then this might be music to your eyes, but before you pull out your credit card, you need to first consider the phrasing and what it means to you versus what the product can actually deliver.

SkinnyMint Teatox Review

Claim 1: “Reduces bloat and boosts energy*

I’ll break this up into two parts for clarity.

“Reduces bloat”

This is where the marketing sleight of hand comes into play. It’s not what you’re being told but instead what you’re led to believe – or can make yourself believe.

First, the company does not specifically define what they mean by the term “bloat.” Bloat is plastered across a lot of different weight loss products these days and can mean a lot of different things to different people. Does it mean fat? Water retention? Glycogen storage?

In looking at the website, the company is very careful not to explicitly make weight loss (or fat loss) claims because that would be illegal.

No problem. Break out the testimonials.

At the bottom of the page, there are a number of before and after pictures of different women claiming the product did indeed result in weight loss specifically as a result of using the product (without mentioning which diet and exercise changes they made).

SkinnyMint Teatox Testimonials

Credit: SkinnyMint website

Taking on board the SkinnyMint’s vague claims and the more explicit testimonials, a reasonable person looking at the website in its entirety might assume that “bloat” means fat. And by using this teatox, it will result in bloat (fat/weight) loss.

So can SkinnyMint cause fat loss? Highly unlikely. As with all “teatox” programs, they are full of both diuretics and laxatives which will result in “weight loss” in the form of urine and feces. But as a stand alone product, it is not likely to result in any noticeable change in body fat.

If you are restricting your calorie intake and doing more exercise than you were before, then you will lose stored body fat. If this happens to occur in conjunction with taking a teatox product, then you might fool yourself into thinking your fat loss was solely the result of drinking a tea – instead of all your hard work.

To wrap up this point, I cannot stress this enough when I say there IS a difference between “weight loss” and “fat loss.” Anyone can “lose weight” by starving themselves or downing diuretic- and laxative-laden teas, but losing fat safely and effectively, and keeping it off, is something that happens slowly over time.

Read my article on 13 fat loss principles for losing fat and keeping it off.

“Boosts energy”

This claim is misleading because “boosts energy” is not well-defined and can also mean different things to different people.

The product contains only 2 calories per teabag so it clearly has no caloric energy value in the way food has energy (i.e., carbohydrates: 4 calories/gram, protein: 4 calories/gram, fat: 9 calories/gram).

To be more accurate, the “energy” you’re getting from SkinnyMint is not actually energy at all. It is simply a stimulant effect from some of the caffeine-containing ingredients which may make you feel more alert.

Claim 2: “Designed for real results in 28 days*

This claim begets more questions. First, what does SkinnyMint mean by “real results?” Are they talking about weight loss? Fat loss? How much weight loss or fat loss?

And second, why 28 days? Why not 27 or 29 days?

Where did SkinnyMint come up with this number? Is it based on research? Is it just cutesy marketing similar to those 28 day fitness challenges?

I conducted a search of the biomedical databases and was unable to locate any scientific research on SkinnyMint.

It would be helpful if the company was more specific and transparent in its claims.

Claim 3: “All natural cleansing formula”

Just more vague and meaningless marketing bluster. First, “all natural” is yet another one of those marketing terms that means different things to different people.

In some readers’ eyes, “all natural” means safe and effective (as opposed to those “drugs” pushed by evil pharmaceutical cartels). However, this is not always the case and even “natural” remedies can have health risks too (can I interest you in a delicious cup of all natural hemlock, arsenic, and cobra venom tea?).

And what, specifically, does SkinnyMint mean by a “cleansing formula.” What is it actually “cleansing?” Is it “cleansing” your liver or any other organ?

To be clear, there is no such thing as “detoxing” or “cleansing,” as Scott Gavura points out in an article on Science-Based Medicine:

“Detox” is a legitimate medical term that has been co-opted to sell useless products and services. It is a fake treatment for a fake condition. Real detoxification isn’t ordered from a menu at a juice bar, or assembled from supplies in your pantry. Real detoxification is provided in hospitals under life-threatening circumstances — usually when there are dangerous levels of drugs, alcohol, or other poisons in the body. Drugs used for real detoxification are not ingredients in a smoothie.

Damn you pesky asterisk!

And what about that pesky asterisk (*) after the claim? According to the SkinnyMint website:

*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Results may vary from person to person and are not guaranteed.

English translation: “yes we’re kinda sorta making claims but not really, the FDA hasn’t reviewed our claims, and your “results,” whatever they may or may not be, may vary.”

SkinnyMint side effects and risks

SkinnyMint and other teatox products on the market are unlikely to cause harm when used as directed (and for the short term). But side effects are always a possibility.


First, senna leaves and a number of other ingredients in the tea exert a laxative effect on the body that could lead to diarrhoea and possibly dehydration, particularly if you are consuming a lot of the tea and leaving the bag in the water for longer than recommended.

Electrolyte imbalances and nutrient deficiencies

Second, the combined diuretic effect of many of the ingredients could further promote dehydration. If you have diarrhoea, then it could further hasten dehydration and contribute to a dangerous electrolyte imbalance and nutrient deficiencies. Moreover, if you are dieting and exercising a lot, this can hasten dehydration.

Low blood pressure

Third, if you have cardiovascular disease and are taking medications that promote fluid loss, then the tea could have a compounding effect which might further lower your blood pressure and make you susceptible to dizziness and fainting. Please consult your doctor if you have high blood pressure or any other cardiovascular disease.

Reduction in birth control effectiveness

Fourth, you should know that the laxative effect of these “teatoxes” can reduce the effectiveness of your birth control pills, particularly if you take your pills within 4 to 5 hours of using the tea.

Reduction in bowel movements

Fifth, the tea should be used for the short term. Long term use could result in your body adapting to the laxative which may lead to a reduction in bowel motility (leading to intestinal paralysis, lazy gut, and irritable bowel syndrome) and make you dependent on the tea for normal bowel movements. If you’re having problems with your bowel movements after using the tea, you should consult your doctor for further evaluation.

Weight loss abuse

Sixth, because the teas promote “weight loss” through increased urine and feces loss, consumers obsessed with quick-fix weight loss products may be at higher risk for abuse. If you’re the parent of a teen with body image issues, you should pay particular attention to their use of the products.

How much does SkinnyMint Teatox cost?

If you’re looking to buy SkinnyMint, it isn’t cheap. It will cost you about $55 US dollars and $70 dollars in Australia if you buy it on their website. I’ve also seen it sold on Amazon at higher and lower price points.

Return / refund policy

There is a return policy, but there’s also a catch.

According to the website, you can return your order within 60 days of purchase, but it must be unopened and in the original packaging.

So if you try the product and don’t like it or get the “results” you were expecting, then tough luck, no refund for you.

If SkinnyMint wants to put its money where its mouth is, then they should be willing to offer refunds to unsatisfied customers.

Bottom line: Should you buy SkinnyMint Teatox?

I hate having to be the jerk that ruins all the fun, but please allow me to smack you in the face with a wet fish and state unequivocally that there is no such thing as a “detox tea” except perhaps in name and branding only.

Let’s be clear that the word “detox” and its taxonomic offspring “teatox” are marketing terms and have no scientific basis.

Neither SkinnyMint nor any other “teatox” on the market causes fat loss. If you’re expecting to lose fat with the product alone (without eating less and exercising), then you will be disappointed.

If you’re expecting to “lose weight,” the laxatives and diuretics will do that, but you can expect to gain it all back when you stop using the product.

Bottom line: if you insist on using this product, then make sure you do not have any underlying health issues and use it only for the short term (for reasons I listed in side effects and risks).

Want to Lose Weight and Be Healthy? Then Stop Chasing Golden Unicorns!

Want to Lose Weight and Be Healthy? Then Stop Chasing Golden Unicorns!

Want to lose weight? Eat healthier? Feel better? Have more energy?

Of course you do.

But if you’re looking for that elusive golden unicorn that pisses diamonds and farts rose petals, you’re not going to find it in a bullsh*t infomercial gadget, miracle diet, “teatox,” body wrap, or Instagram muppet.

You know what I mean. You bounce from one fad diet to the next, buy every infomercial gadget, and gulp down “metabolism boosters” and “fat burner” supplements, hoping that maybe, just maybe, THIS one is REALLY going to work….which it never does.

Still with me?

I know, it’s tough to think otherwise when your social feeds are overflowing with self-proclaimed “celebrity” nutritionistspersonal trainers, and health coaches spruiking the next latest greatest pill, diet, or exercise routine.

“Revolutionary thermogenic formula! Optimised macros! Dynamic inertia! Gyrotronic resistance! 28 day fat blaster challenge! 5 minute abs!”


Yeah, because that’s what health marketing does. It misrepresents science, celebrates the mundane, and embellishes barely legal marketing claims to sell you sh*t you really don’t need.

Two words: golden unicorn.

The secret to health is no secret

Want a real golden unicorn that DOES work and is evidence-based?

Granted it’s not sexy, but you’ll find it in the age-old scientifically proven advice your sage grandfather might have given you:

Golden Unicorn - Diet Exercise Research Summary

Click on image to visit Dr Bill Sukala’s Facebook Page

Beware the golden unicorn salesman

There is no limit to the useless sh*t marketers will try to sell you and the lengths they will go to accomplish that end.

And guess what? In their eyes, you’re the easy mark. The low hanging fruit. You’re the sucker and your wallet is their target.

Their mantra is always the same: “whatever people are buying, I’m selling.”

Their business is money. Their storefront is health, fitness, nutrition, or whatever.

Do they actually care about your health?


Can they really be bothered to think about your health when they’re too busy counting cash grifted from gullible people desperate to believe in elusive golden unicorns pissing diamonds?

Ethics? Huh? Wha…?

Sure, they’ll use lame apologetic excuses like “well hey, anything that gets people off the couch is a good thing, right?

Uh huh. Yeah, sure buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Species of golden unicorns

As you have seen, there are a variety of golden unicorn species out there and the only way to protect yourself is to know and understand their natural habitat and behaviour.

The following list is by no means exhaustive, but will prepare you for when you come face to face with some of the more common diamond-pissing golden beasts.

Bullshiticus infomercialis golden unicornius

Infomercials. The scourge of late night TV – and now social media.

They come with fancy names like the Ab Circle ProAb WaveSpinGym, and Shake Weight.

You know the rest.

Don’t delayLose weight NOW for the incredibly low price of $199.95! That’s right, just $199.95 for the BODY OF YOUR DREAMS! But WAIT! That’s not all you get! Act now and we’ll throw in a golden unicorn pissing diamonds!

Back in 2010, I authored a comprehensive review of the Ab Circle Pro‘s deceptive advertising.

I was so viscerally furious about the sheer number of false and misleading claims, I transcribed the entire 10-minute infomercial and then categorically dismantled each claim through the lens of exercise science.

The article generated a lot of buzz in the media and resulted in my being interviewed by a number of international TV and radio stations, as well as print and digital publications.

The regulatory agencies eventually caught up with the Ab Circle Pro in Australia and New Zealand and forced them to amend their ads for making deceptive claims (i.e., if “results are not typical” then they’re misleading).

The final coup de grâce came in August of 2012 when the US Federal Trade Commission fined the company $25 million for making false claims, which contributed to the company going out of business.

The moral of the story is that the Ab Circle Pro is not unique and is only one drop in an ocean of dodgy infomercial products.

They all use the same regurgitated formulaic advertising (i.e., hammer on your pain points and insecurities, make grandiose promises, feature hired fitness models who’ve never used the product, add in weepy overacted “testimonials,” and repeated calls to action to buy now!) over and over and over again.

Why? Because it works.

When one golden unicorn runs it’s marketing cycle, the makers recycle the same tactics and invent a “new and revolutionary” golden unicorn.

And the end result is always the same. You’re lighter in the wallet, fatter than you were before, and the ab blaster piece of sh*t ends up on your sidewalk waiting for Tuesday morning garbage collection.

Golden Unicorn - Infomercial Ab Blaster

Click image to visit Dr Bill Sukala on Facebook

Bottom line

Golden unicorn infomercial pushers are bottom-dwelling scum who cannot sell their wares by honest means. Please do NOT be just another gullible sucker falling into their sales funnels. You are a dollar sign to them, nothing more, nothing less.

Bullshiticus miraculus dietes golden unicornius 

Bullsh*t diets have been around for centuries and, like infomercials, there’s no limit to the variety of names or wacky regimens.

How do you know if the diet you’re following is a golden unicorn?

Nine times out of ten, its name fits this syntax:  The  _____  Diet.

Here, let’s take a look at some real diet Hall of Shamers.

  • The HCG Diet
  • The Cabbage Soup Diet
  • The Grapefruit Diet
  • The Alkaline Diet
  • The Blood Type Diet

Tried any of these?

Did you lose weight?

Of course you did.

Losing weight is easy when you starve yourself on 500 calories or less per day.

How long did you last on the diet?

One week? Two weeks? Maybe you ran the gauntlet and lasted a full month. Bravo.

Then what happened?

You eventually said “f*ck this, it’s too hard.” You threw in the towel, went out for a burger, and then scolded yourself for being a failure.

But here’s the thing: you didn’t actually fail the diet. The diet failed you!

When you go from eating 3000 calories down to 500 calories or less per day, your body’s internal physiology and biochemistry goes, “sweet baaaaby Jesus, the famine has arrived!!

When a fad diet has you eating 500 calories or less per day, your body's internal physiology goes, 'sweet baaaby Jesus, the famine's arrived!' & will do everything it can to conserve energy & protect fat stores Click To Tweet

Thing is, your body is a lot smarter than any fad diet that ever was or ever will be. You see, your body has a built-in famine response mode to protect you from yourself and idiotic diets.

You might think you’re speeding up your metabolism but, contrary to your wishes, starving yourself actually slows down your metabolism. Your body wants to conserve as much energy as possible, which includes holding onto valuable life-sustaining body fat, because it has no idea how long this famine is going to last.

You might be thinking, “well, wait a minute. How come I lost weight if my body is holding onto fat? That doesn’t make sense to me.”

It’s because you didn’t lose fat, or not that much anyway.

One of the first things you lose on a starvation diet is your muscle glycogen and the water bound to it.

*Glycogen is just a fancy name for stored carbohydrate. It’s stored mainly in your muscles and your liver. (FYI, if you’re scared sh*tless of carbs, read my article Carbohysteria).*

Next, your body begins to break down it’s muscle tissue. This is bad – really bad.

Muscle is your body’s rock star tissue. Muscle is metabolically active and burns more calories than fat tissue per equivalent weight. In other words, it pays a higher metabolic rent in the body to earn its keep.

Not only that, muscle, particularly well-conditioned muscle from regular exercise, protects you from things like heart disease and diabetes by effectively siphoning sugar and fat from your bloodstream and burning it for energy (instead of floating around your body where it can wreak havoc).

Rule: muscle good. No muscle bad.

Fat tissue, on the other hand, is something of a metabolic freeloader… but in a benevolent tough love sort of way. It’s a rich source of valuable energy and burns comparatively fewer calories to earn its keep in the body – which is valuable for keeping you alive during a real famine or prolonged stupid diet.

If you’re starving yourself while on a high protein diet, then you might lose even more weight from peeing out all the excess nitrogen.

paleo diet, mediterranean diet - golden unicorn

If you go into ketosis, then it’s going to be tough (REALLY tough!) to stay on the diet for any length of time because ketones are sort of your DEFCON 1 emergency fuel. Eventually you’ll collapse or get tired of having disgusting smelling breath.

*FYI, check out my related article Fat Burns in the Flame of Carbohydrate

After several weeks of starving yourself on The Golden Unicorn Diet, yes, you may have “lost weight” on the scale, but you definitely haven’t lost as much fat as you think you did.

Tale of the DEXA scan

Last year, I ran before and after DEXA scans on a couple that was doing a so-called “weight loss challenge” at their local gym. They told me they were on a high-protein diet and were exercising six to seven days per week.

When they came back in for their follow-up scans six weeks later, they were smugly bragging about how much “weight” they lost, but the DEXA scan showed them the ACTUAL COMPOSITION of that weight loss.

They each lost a TRUCKLOAD of muscle and, to their astonishment, a comparatively small amount of fat. In fact, because they lost so much muscle, their body fat percentages had actually gone up!

And they were worse off for it because they had lost so much valuable metabolism-stoking muscle.

So what happened? They were under-eating, over-training, and under-recovering.

Bottom line

Focus on slow steady FAT LOSS instead of nebulous golden unicorn goals like “losing weight” or “getting results.” Steer clear of popular diets your friend Britney and Aunt Gertrude are doing and arm yourself with these 13 principles for safe, effective, and permanent fat loss.

Bullshiticus teatoxium golden unicornius 

The market is flooded with all kinds of “teatoxes” which come with all kinds of outlandish health claims.

But what gives? Can you REALLY “detox” yourself into “losing weight” or “cutting the bloat?”

No. It’s physiologically impossible.

It’s not possible because it’s not “toxins” that are causing you to be overweight in the first place.

But you might argue, “What do you mean? I ‘lost weight‘ on a ‘teatox.'”

In my Skinny Teatox, Flat Tummy Tea, and SkinnyMint Teatox review articles, I point out that these types of products are, in actual fact, nothing more than exorbitantly overpriced diuretics and laxatives.

skinny teatox review

Get ready to piss and sh*t….a lot…because you and your toilet are about to become good friends again (like back in your university days, downing 11 beers, 5 tequila shots, and a bottle of chardonnay every Friday night).

In an article on Science-Based Medicine, Scott Gavura eloquently provides a real definition for detox:

“Detox” is a legitimate medical term that has been co-opted to sell useless products and services. It is a fake treatment for a fake condition. Real detoxification isn’t ordered from a menu at a juice bar, or assembled from supplies in your pantry. Real detoxification is provided in hospitals under life-threatening circumstances — usually when there are dangerous levels of drugs, alcohol, or other poisons in the body. Drugs used for real detoxification are not ingredients in a smoothie.

Detox is a legitimate medical term co-opted by quacks to sell useless products & services. Real detoxification isn’t ordered at a juice bar. It is provided in hospitals under life-threatening circumstances.Click To Tweet

Still with me?

Thing is, these “teatoxes,” aside from making you piss and sh*t all day long, often recommend that you improve your diet to, you know, “synergistically enhance the effects of the teatox.”

And I won’t argue, eating better is definitely a good thing and is precisely what any responsible health professional would recommend. But you don’t need to waste your money on overpriced laxatives and diuretics to achieve good health.

Bottom line

Stay alert and don’t fall for the cutesy teatox advertising or the photoshopped Instagram pics. Remember, the business is money and the storefront is health.

Bullshiticus corpus wrapum golden unicornius

Body wraps.

Have you seen “those crazy wrap things?”

You know, the ones where you smear a herbal concoction over your fatty areas, cover yourself plastic wrap, and whammy, you’re thinner!?

I know, kinky right? But hey, who am I to judge…if you’re into that sort of thing?

body wraps weight loss

Yes, body wraps have been around for quite a number of years and, like bell bottom jeans and bad haircuts, this golden unicorn keeps coming back.

Can you really “melt away the fat” from those trouble spots with a body wrap?

In a word: no.

Fat doesn’t just melt away through the skin. You need to improve your eating habits and become more physically active.

Sure, you might “lose weight” or see brief cosmetic improvements from a body wrap. However, this is more of a temporary illusion than any lasting effect.

While you may see small reductions in scale weight or inches on the tape measure, the actual composition of your weight loss is not body fat.

By the very nature of being wrapped in plastic (and sometimes heated), you will “lose weight” through sweating and dehydration.

Bottom line

The concept of “spot reduction” has long since been debunked. You cannot melt away fat through the skin. Once you leave the spa and consume food and water, you will replace what you lost in sweat weight.

For more information on body wraps, please see my general body wraps article It Works wraps review.

Bullshiticus Instagramicum gurus golden unicornius

I’ve been doing consumer advocacy work in the health space for well over two decades now and never in my entire career have I seen a bigger cesspool of health misinformation than on Instagram.

I’ll admit, Facebook and Twitter are quite prolific on the douchebaggery scale, but Instagram is a particularly onerous place for someone looking for reliable, trustworthy, and responsible health information.

What do I mean?

Think all of the above: teatoxes, 28-day fitness challenges, diets, fake testimonials, airbrushed images, micro-targeted advertising. It’s all there, on your phone, in your face, in 3D, in full colour.

If you’re a a teenage girl or young adult woman reading this, please know that Instagram is a great place to inspire an eating disorder (#fitspo). It has been studied and linked to poor mental health outcomes.

First, in the quest to rise above the social static and noise, Instagrammers are going to great lengths to image craft and mould their feeds. What you’re seeing is not reality. It’s a carefully coordinated effort to enhance their “personal branding” and social influence.

Second, the “health advice” your getting is, in most cases, questionable. “Influencers” are now getting paid to say a “teatox” was the secret to their success. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Third, the images you see are often distortions of reality. Some Instagrammers have had surgery, botox, and treatments to make them look like a top-heavy mannequin. The photos are often professionally done, with certain looks accomplished by altering angles, using different lighting, playing with after-effects filters, or, if all else fails, airbrushing in Photoshop.

Aside from social media’s distorted aesthetics, sometimes information can be downright, well, just plain idiotic.

Last year, a young Australian “health coach” named Olivia Budgen when down in a media firestorm for saying that “cancer and disease is your body trying to save you.”

Olivia Budgen Insta Muppet - golden unicorn

She eventually deleted the Instagram post under intense media scrutiny. Then, in a so-called apology video on YouTube, Olivia blamed everyone else for misunderstanding her. To add insult to injury, she doubled down and had the audacity to spruik her ebooks below the video.

Olivia Budgen YouTube fake apology

In the video, she cited a well-known cancer quack as the source of her comments. Based on her responses to comments, the only thing she appeared to be sorry for was getting called out (below).

Olivia Budgen fake Youtube "apology"

Bottom line

Social media has given a platform and voice to everyone, irrespective of whether or not they’re qualified to give health advice.

If your Instagram feed is plastered with “detoxes,” “cleanses,” “fat-burner” supplements, and 28-day fitness challenges, then you need to unfollow your #fitspo “experts” and “gurus” and follow reputable health professionals instead.

Closing thoughts

Yeah, I know. I sound like the drunk uncle at Christmas time telling the kids there’s no Santa Claus. And sometimes I feel like it too.

Maybe it’s not what you WANT to hear, but it’s certainly what you NEED to hear.

You don’t have to like it either, but sticking your head in the sand and continuing to pretend long-term health comes in a cutesy “teatox” or “fat burner” pill is only going to keep you from achieving safe, sound, and lasting health changes.

I know there’s always that little sliver of hope in the back of your mind, hoping that one of those golden unicorns will work.

But I’ve worked in the health field for a LONG time and I have never, not even once, seen someone attain and maintain good health and body weight by following bad advice and using gimmicks.

Now, having said that, repeat after me:

“Bill, even though I think you’re a smug, sarcastic a$$hole, I will accept your challenge by trading my golden unicorn for more veggies and walking!”

Cockroach Milk: Superfood or Super Clickbait Headline?

Cockroach Milk: Superfood or Super Clickbait Headline?

Cockroach milk.

Ewwwww WT serious F?! I know. Exactly what I was thinking.

But there it was, cockroach milk, in the headlines, in all its glory, churning through this week’s international news cycle.


I’ll admit the daily tsunami of bulls*t “health” headlines barely makes me raise an eyebrow these days <snore>, but this one actually caught my attention for at least 10 seconds. Ok, maybe 11 seconds.

I posted the article to my Facebook page with the question, “would you try it?” Every person who left a comment, bar none, said no, hell no, f*ck no, and every other graphical iteration of f*ck no.

cockroach milk gagging

Despite western cultural biases, there is a growing interest in insect farming as a sustainable food source, with numerous research studies now appearing in this space.

I figured I’d put aside my cultural ignorance <gag!> and take a serious look at the science and nutrition behind cockroach milk, and then compare it to the latest media headlines.

What is cockroach milk?

Cockroach milk is derived from the brood sac of the viviparous Diploptera punctata cockroach (or Pacific beetle cockroach) which provides nourishment to embryos during gestation. “Viviparous” refers to the embryos receiving milk BEFORE birth as compared to mammals which provide milk to offspring after birth.

Cockroach milk research

Despite the overly optimistic headlines, there really isn’t much research to support the superfood claims. I found only three barely relevant studies, one from 1977one from 2004 and another from 2016, with the latter mentioned frequently in news stories.

Study 1: Banerjee et al 2016

In the most recent 2016 study published in the International Union of Crystallography Journal (IUCrJ), researchers at the Institute for Stem Cell Biology and Regenerative Medicine in Bangalore, India looked at the chemical composition and structure of the milk with a few passing comments on its nutritive value for cockroach embryos (not humans).

The authors clearly stated: “a single crystal of cockroach milk is estimated to contain more than three times the energy of an equivalent mass of dairy milk.”

Translation: it has three times the amount of calories per equivalent weight of bog standard dairy milk.

However, a recent news.com.au article blew this out of proportion and erroneously stated the milk was “actually one of the most nutritious substances on Earth, containing three times the equivalent mass of buffalo’s milk” and that “it’s also more environmentally-friendly than dairy or almond milk.”

Um, no. I read the research study. That’s not what it said. At all.

Nowhere in the published study did the authors state it was the most “nutritious substance on Earth,” that it was “three times heavier than buffalo’s milk,” that it was more “environmentally-friendly than dairy or almond milk,” nor that was even fit for human consumption.

Study 2: Williford et al 2004

A second study from 2004 by Willford and colleagues at the University of Iowa investigated the genes that encode proteins found in cockroach milk, identified the amino acid composition of these proteins, and discussed the association to the evolutionary adaptation of viviparity.

As in the Bangalore study, nowhere in the study do the authors make any reference to the benefits of cockroach milk for human consumption.

Have a look at the PubMed abstract or the full length article in PDF and decide for yourself.

Study 3: Ingram et al 1977

An early study out of the University of Iowa looking at the composition of cockroach milk found it contained 45% protein, 5% amino acids, 25% carbohydrate, and 16 to 22% lipid. But again, no mention of the milk for human nutrition.

Is cockroach milk a nutritious superfood?

Easy question. Yes, if you’re a cockroach embryo.

Despite the headlines, you can’t buy cockroach milk at your local Paleo cafe, nor are Hollywood celebrities touting it as a youthful elixir (yet). But hey, give Gwyneth Paltrow enough time and she just might spruik it on her quacky Goop website, right next to the jade eggs for your vagina.

So yes, it is technically true that research shows cockroach milk is high in protein, and low to moderate in carbohydrate and fat content, but there is no evidence that it’s good for human consumption above and beyond normal supermarket food.

And what about safety? There is no scientific evidence yet that the substance is safe for humans.

And finally, extracting cockroach milk would likely be a massively tedious and time consuming process, possibly making it difficult to be financially viable. The substance would likely have to be synthesised and bulk produced in a lab (if feasible). Watch this space.

Bottom line

Cockroach milk has been bandied about as a “superfood” and, while it might be “nutritious” when viewed strictly from a chemical composition standpoint in a lab – under an electron microscope – there are no studies yet on the human consumption of cockroach milk on any given health parameter.

As of this writing cockroach milk is just a hypothetical what-if. The headlines which churned and burned through the recent news cycle were just bullish*t clickbait with no substance. The writers of these stories appear to have piggy-backed a load of bad and poorly interpreted scientific information and twisted it into something it was clearly not (see my article on the media distorting health messages).

There is no such thing as a “superfood” and no single food is the holy grail. The healthiest diets include a wide variety of food choices in order to safely provide a full array of nutrients.

But hey, if you want to suck on the bottom of a pregnant cockroach, then knock yourself out!


  1. Banerjee S, Coussens NP, Gallat FX, et al. Structure of a heterogeneous, glycosylated, lipid-bound, in vivo-grown protein crystal at atomic resolution from the viviparous cockroach Diploptera punctata. IUCrJ. 2016 Jun 27;3 (Pt 4):282-93. doi: 10.1107/S2052252516008903. eCollection 2016 Jul 1. [abstract] [PDF]
  2. Williford A, Stay B, Bhattacharya D. Evolution of a novel function: nutritive milk in the viviparous cockroach, Diploptera punctata. Evol Dev. 2004 Mar-Apr;6(2):67-77.[abstract] [PDF]
  3. M.J.Ingram, B.Stay, G.D.Cain. Composition of milk from the viviparous cockroach, Diploptera punctata. Insect Biochemistry. Volume 7, Issue 3, 1977, Pages 257-267 [abstract]
  4. Science Direct. Various insect farming studies [view list]